Gilligan's Idles

>The Seven Deadly Sins of Gilligan's Island theory is quite simple.
>Each of the seven characters on the island represents each of the
>seven deadly sins.  Now, this theory seems to fit upon initial
>inspection, there are technical difficulties when you get down to
>THE MAN himself, Gilligan.
>
>Run with me on this one...
>
>Most obvious is the Professor, who fits PRIDE to a T.  Any man who can
>make a ham radio out of some wire and two coconuts has to be pretty
>cocky.  (His character was later revised and given a series of his
>own, called MacGuyver".)
>
>For the sin of ENVY we need look no further than Maryann, who may have
>worn those skimpy little tops, but could never achieve Ginger's
>glamour.  (As an interesting and completely irrelevant side note, a
>nationwide survey of college students a few years ago revealed that
>the professor and Maryann were voted the most likely couple to have
>'done it' on the island.)
>
>And who could doubt for a moment that Ginger is LUSTincarnate?  Sure,
>the kids were supposed to think she was ACTING, but we all know what
>being deprived episode after episode was doing to her.  You know and I
>know that glazed look wasn't boredom, my friends.
>
>What kind of person takes a trunk full of money on a three-hour
>cruise?  Mr Howell gets my vote for GREED.
>
>We are now left with three characters and three Deadly Sins.  We have
>Gilligan, the Skipper and Mrs Howell to whom we must match GLUTTONY,
>SLOTH and ANGER.  As you can see, there is a Gilligan problem here.
>
>Certainly we can further eliminate Mrs Howell from this equation by
>connecting her with SLOTH.  She did jack  during her many years
>on the island and everybody knows it.
>
>This leaves ANGER and GLUTTONY, either of which the Skipper had no
>shortage.  He was, after all, a big guy with the tendency to hit
>Gilligan with his hat at least once an episode.  After much
>consideration, I have decided that he can easily do double-duty,
>covering the two remaining Deadly Sins.
>
>So here we have the Seven Deadly Sins trapped in an endlessly
>recurring Hell of hope followed by denial and despair, forced to live
>with each other in our TVs until the last re-run ends.  And who is
>their captor?  What keeps them trapped there?
>
>Gilligan.
>
>Gilligan is SATAN.  Think about it!

Contriubted by Terry Spindle (?) <terrys@callconnect.com>