Various Dogmas

"Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant." -- Unknown

"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies."  -- Gene Hill

"Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend; inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." -- Groucho Marx

"To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs."  -- Aldous Huxley

"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down." -- Robert Benchley

"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives." -- Sue Murphy

"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves." -- August Strindberg

"My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money." -- Joe Weinstein

"It's a dog eat dog world out there, and I'm wearing milk bone underwear." -- Norm on Cheers

"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons."  -- James Thurber

"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful." -- Ann Landers

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." -- Robert A. Heinlein

"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should
have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him." -- Dereke Bruce, Taipei, Taiwan

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face." -- Ben Williams

"When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem."  -- Edward Abbey

"Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it." -- Unknown

"Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail." -- Unknown

"No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does." -- Christopher Morley

"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself." -- Josh Billings

"Man is a dog's idea of what God should be." -- Holbrook Jackson

"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."  -- Andrew A. Rooney

"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion." -- Unknown

"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man."  -- Mark Twain

Source: Joke A Whenever