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You are here: Greater Things > Jokes and Humor with Words

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JoKeS and Humore
smiley-grin.gif (284 bytes) with Words

Emilee Allan, May '03
 "A merry heart
does good,
like medicine."
-- Proverbs 17:22

Index

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Page Index Categories:
Words Play • Spelling Erros • Scripture Twisters • E-mages • Political Shenanigans • Bumper Crap • Other Sites

Novel TP.com -Toilet Paper Worth Reading

Flying Green Rhino, by Kevn Lambson

Flying Green Rhino
©2000 Kevn Lambson Idear Studeos
used with permission

 
"There is a lighter side to heavy-duty design," says Kevn Lambson of Idear Studios

Texas riddle:

bullet holeQ. How many times does an Aggie laugh at a joke?

A.  Three:
1. the first time when he hears it,
2. the second when it is explained to him, and
3. the third time when he gets it.

 

Smiley Words Play

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Life in the 1500's and Modern Clichιs:  Discover the historic origin of clichιs like "raining cats and dogs," "dead ringer," and "don't throw the baby out with the bath water."

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bullet holeWord PowWow -- Expounding Hour Vocabulation:
BEELZEBUG (n.) Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at 3 in the morning and cannot be cast out.

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Governmentium -- heaviest element yet discovered.

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Top 51 Oxymorons (and then some, by Pablo): Including: definite maybe, pretty ugly, computer jock, peace force

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Toys and Religion and Politics: DEMOCRAT - My brother is bigger than your brother and he says you have to let me play with you.

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Occupational Hazards: A professor is one who talks in other's sleep.

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Wonder Liners: Clones are people, two

bullet

Wasatch "Front" -- a bunch of wieners? - the rest of the story about the origin of the name 'Wasatch'

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World's Easiest Quiz? by Miss Nomers:  Which country makes Panama hats?  Ecuador, of course!

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Daffynitions: EYEDROPPER \i'-drop-ur\: a clumsy ophthalmologist

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Mo ses   New word definitions based on new prefix "Mo," short for Mormon.

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Punny Definitions: The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

bullet

Wise Guy Signs: Plumber -- "We repair what your husband fixed"

Hell frozen over
who'd have ever thought?

bullet

Songs for the Seasoning DEMENTIA: I Think I'll Be Home for Christmas

bullet

Poe Computer (Edgar Allen) (decomprosed)

bullet

A Mother's Dictionary: HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

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Tom Swifties: "I won't let a flat tire get me down," Tom said, without despair.

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I like this show mom - kids say the darndest things.

bullet

The Tator Family: Some people never do anything to distinguish themselves from others. They might be called "Common Taters."

"Signs are not permitted in this area"

bullet

Panda Bar: Don't mess with him.

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Dyslexic Mnemonics and Other Word Weirdnesses: Why is abbreviation such a long word?

bullet

Word Trivia: There is a lack of correlation between the spellings of "corollary" and "correlate."

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Paradoxes of Our Time Humorous yet serious reflections.

bullet hole

TechnolO'gee for Country Folk: DOWNLOAD: Gettin the farwood off the truck.
bullet

Think Like a Lawyer: Want an orange?

bullet

QuotaBulls and Common Sensicles
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

bullet

Chiasm of Success in Life: begin and end drooling and in diapers.

bullet

Mergermanieconomics: 3M and Goodyear merge to become MMMGood.

bullet

Valentine Poems for Rednecks bullet hole You have som'a yore teeth, for which I am proud; I hold my head high when we're in a crowd.

bullet

Dog Breeds -- Newfangled Criss-Krosses: Bloodhound + Labrador = Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly

 

Smiley

Spellin Erros & Miss Translations

bullet

English as the official language of Europe - The British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has been accepted a five year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish.

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I Halve a Spelling Chequer

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Lessens in Righting -- Content-Disposition: Puns are for children, not groan readers.

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Actual excuses for school absences

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Paradoxes of the English Language: The present is a good time to present the present to the President.

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They Really Said It -- Headlines Without Editors : "Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation"

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Signs That Weren't Supposed to be Funny: "Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager."

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Moments When Saying Nothing Might Have Worked Out Better: "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country." (Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC)

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Punctuation on Mars vs. Venus "A woman without her man is nothing"

 

Smiley Scripture Twisters

bulletKirby Classics (Index) - Some of Sterling's favorites from the Salt Lake Tribune's Mormon lampooneer.
Kirby Classics
bullet

Kids on the Bible -- actual statements from young learners.

bullet

Become as a Child? -- a parody for parents who know better.

bullet

Pope:  "They Left out an 'R'"

bullet

Doctor in Line at the Pearly Gates

bullet

Wise Men in Fire Hats?

bullet

101 Reasons to Look Forward to the Fullness of the Gentiles and the Last Days

bullet

Computer Contest Between Jesus and Satan

bullet

Buttprints in the Sand

bullet

Adam & Eve & Children Consolation for parents from the best Parents

bullet

Gilligan's Idles

Joke a Day by www.allworld.net

Smiley E-mages/Video Clippes

bullet

How to Tell if Your Ass is Too Small (not as bad as it sounds)

bullet

Smile -- It's Contagious

bulletDogmas; See also famous people quotes about Dogs
Dogmas -- click here

smile

bullet

What Do You See?  Stare at the four dots for 30 seconds then close your eyes.

bullet

Brigham's Brougham -- Mormon SUV (108 kb jpg)

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All of the Prophets Tattoo (32 kb jpg)

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Where's Wally?   Can you find your picture? One in every crowd.

Knight Flight by Kevn Lambson (brother-in-law)
Revised Illustrated
History of Flight
by Kevn Lambson

 

Smiley Political Shenanigans

bullet

Twenty Things to Say When BATF Troops Storm Your House - "No, I won't vote for Gore.  How many times do I have to tell you?"

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Jesse Jackson - For everything else there's Master Card

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Roger Dodger! (mini *.exe program for tallying your valuable Clinton votes)

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Politician's Scriptural Dyslexia -- "Favorite Bible verse" is John 16:3?

bullet

Bill Clinton's Hall of Flame

Daschle Doosie

Smiley Bumper Wisdoms

bullet hole click here

Smiley Other Humor Sites

bulletCrisscross words - Is it "nip it in the butt" or "nip it in the bud"?
bulletNews of the Weird - Proof that true stories are weirder than made-up stories.
bulletDarwin Awards - Given posthumously to those who clean up the gene pool by eliminating themselves from it through sublimely stupid means.
bulletSigns of the Times - gallery of actual signs.
bulletJoke A Whenever - clean humor.
bulletCalvin & Hobbes - my favorite comic strip.  Subscribe to free one-a-day delivery.
bulletThe-it-resource.com/Internet/Humor.html

-- end --

Special thanks to
www.allworld.net

This site featured at
DMOZ - The Open Directory Project -- "Human's Do It Better"
> Religious > Humor

CLICK HERE: A Little Religion and Romance Music by Sterling D. Allan

 

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Page last updated on March 06, 2013
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Schopenhauer
All truth passes through three stages:
   First, it is ridiculed;
   Second, it is violently opposed; and
   Third, it is accepted as self-evident.

-- Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860)

"Would God that ALL the Lord's People Were PROPHETS"

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