From: "Jon Hess" <jon_hess@albertsons.com>
To: "Sterling D. Allan (E-mail)"
<sterlingda@greaterthings.com>
Cc: "Keith Thomas (E-mail)" <Keith.Thomas@pacificorp.com>;
"Bruce Haycock (E-mail)" <Bruce.Haycock@THIOKOL.COM>
Sent: Tuesday, March 20, 2001 6:50 PM
Subject: More on meeting God
Jon Hess' Epiphany sounds a little unreachable and beyond the
ability of ordinary people to attain; so, I would be more comfortable
with the phrase "when Jon finally became like a little child and
simply believed". What does it take to get to that point?
Unless a child has been told that they can't see God (and I will always mean,
"face to face"), or walk and talk with Jesus or the Father, they
know they can do it. We have all seen this in a child's eyes. So,
how do we get back to that childlike belief? I can't answer that for
each of you--only for myself. I can tell you what it took for me to
struggle and wrestle to that point and some of the ideas that held me back,
and some of the ideas that propelled me forward. My only purpose is to
touch the child hidden inside you and invite and entice that child forward to
simple belief--to a simple belief that is outside the complexities of ritual,
ordinance, ecclesia, churches, books, language, numerology, knowledge,
tradition, and public and private acceptance. My whole purpose in
seeking to see Jesus and the Father was to observe for myself what They are
really like and how They behave; and then, to be like them. Seeing
and observing, which in my adult mind seemed impossible, when viewed as a
child, is simple and easy; being like Them and emulating Their behavior is
much more difficult. In fact, it is the most difficult challenge I have
ever attempted or that I have ever even conceived of.
For me, to become like a little child so that I could meet Jesus and the
Father, required total rejection by family, friends, and church,. I had
to lose my job. I had to lose everything I depended on to sustain me and
give me acceptance and approval. Why? I don't believe at all that
this is a necessity for anyone else; However, for me, it was because I
ingeniously placed all of these things between myself and an actual meeting
with Jesus or the Father. Ask yourself, "What am I placing between
myself and Jesus or the Father?" We are very inventive at
this. I worked very hard to support my family-at one point holding two
full time jobs, and getting overtime on one of them. I had a large
family with eight children and a wife to support. I commuted two hours a
day. I was active in the Church of Jesus Christ, was a High Councilor
and Gospel Doctrine Teacher, did genealogy research, attended the Temple
frequently, did home teaching, assisted other people, helped my children with
homework, and added 2300 feet of living space onto a small farmhouse that my
wife and I purchased. I studied New Testament Greek and Old Testament
Hebrew and I read all of the church histories and doctrinal commentaries I
could buy or borrow. I don't consider myself exceptionally gifted
intellectually; but, I was a genius at finding things to place between myself
and the meeting I desired with God.
Meanwhile, I was asking God if I could meet with him and promising to let
go of anything that was in the way, I didn't know what was in the way; I
couldn't see anything; but, there were no fruits to my labors--so to speak.
Soon, however, the things that I was placing between God and myself were
wrenched away. A friend of mine betrayed me and was accused by my
stake president. The stake president lied about the circumstances and I
stood up to him and told the truth. The result was that he
disfellowshipped me for apostasy and rebellion to buttress his lies and warn
others to not associate with me or assist me in any way. I contacted the
area president; but he would not believe me. The priesthood path of
church was closed to me. The temples of the church were closed to
me. I could not participate in church meetings, and I couldn't hold any
church offices. Some of my close family members, friends, and
acquaintances denounced me and disassociated themselves from me. The
buyers for my house, also close friends, withdrew their offer. I
suppose, that the stake president, considered me very dangerous, and so, he
announced the results of the disciplinary action to the entire stake and
warned the membership against listening to me or associating with me in any
way. As time went on, and as I pursued a meeting with God, even my wife
turned away from me. I felt completely abandoned by my former friends, my
family, and the church.
Shortly thereafter, I found myself in Houston for a seminar. With no
one to turn to, I knelt in prayer in my hotel room and asked our Father in
Heaven if he would forgive me. He answered, "Yes". I was
greatly surprised. I had never received so direct an answer from our
Father in Heaven to my direct questions. I said, "Are you really
there?" And he answered, "I have always been here; you just weren't
listening". Can you imagine my joy. I have asked God a
question; and he answered me. Can you imagine my chagrin when I realized
that probably no one was going to believe me! And so began my listening,
questioning and being questioned, and answering and being answered-concerning
anything about which I was curious. So, what did I yet lack to meet
God? I thought that the answer might lie in repentance.
If you will take the time to review an article on repentance by Theodore M.
Burton in the August, 1988 issue of the Ensign, you will find that he
(Theodore) started down Jesus' path to the thoughts and intent in God's heart
which is marked by a peculiar meaning of the English word for repentance in
Hebrew and Greek. I went down this same path when I found myself
disfellowshipped from the church (Mormon) for apostasy and rebellion. This
article was like an invitation to me from Jesus to "turn" from my
path, to "turn" from my goals and purposes, and to simply
"turn" to Him and talk to Him "face to face", "as one
man 'talks' to another". As Burton points out, the present day
meaning of repentance derives from the Latin meaning for penance-or the idea
that we must perform a step by step ritual to obtain forgiveness from God and
the church. The extreme of this can be found in the popular passion
plays where a person volunteers to take the place of Jesus on the step by step
path to Calvary and may indeed reenact the crucifixion by being literally
nailed to a cross. The original meaning of this word can be found
in the Hebrew word "shube" or the root "shuv" which
precisely means to turn from your path and intent to God-literally face to
face! Like Isaiah stated, "We have all like sheep gone astray
('turning' our backs to God's face, not wanting to look at Him), each after
our own path after our own reward". Isaiah quotes God, "Turn (shuv)
to me and save yourselves". You see, we turn (shuv) to Him and come
to Him at the Gate. He is the Gate and He employs no servant there. And,
He is the only way to the Father.
For me the priesthood, temple, and church path to God was closed. I
would not then, nor will I now, lie to gain acceptance and fellowship;
so, when we "turn" to Him then, what do we expect? In all of
the translations of the Book of Isaiah 1:12, both Jewish and Christian, the
translators translate the verse as, "When you come to see me" or,
"When you come to appear before me". In the Sinai Codex, the
Hebrew reads, "when you come to see my face"! Not many people know
that Jacob wrestled with Elohim and that the writer chose the verb
"wrestle" because during the embrace and struggle with Elohim, dust
was raised around them that is the Shekinah or dust particles of light that
surrounds God. Jacob names the place Peniel because he says, "I saw
Elohim face to face and my soul was spared"! Other statements by
God in Isaiah also invited and enticed me to believe that an ordinary man
could meet God. He says in Isaiah, "I will answer before you even
ask"; and, "Your teacher will remain hidden no longer"; and
further, "I will be right behind you (on the path) should you turn right
or left".
So, the invitation of Jesus and the Father to each one of the Father's
children, is to "turn" (shuv) to them, and come to them on Their
path. The promise of Jesus in the Fourteenth chapter of John is
true! "The Father and I will visit you and make our abode with
you"! Joseph Smith invited each person to drink from the Source
themselves, "Just ask, and believe with nothing doubting". And
since the time of that invitation, how many souls have even believed Jesus and
Joseph, turned (shuv) to God, drank from the Source, and talked to God face to
face? Why not? Ask yourselves if what you are doing and placing
between you and God is what you really want.
The things Jesus and our Father in Heaven have asked me to let go of have
always required that I turn to Them from the thing that I was holding on to.
Especially ideas that I have always believed in. Soon after my
experience in Houston, I was sitting in my dad's kitchen. Jesus came
into the room. I couldn't see him; but I knew him instantly. He
filled the room with his love. He asked me, "Jon, are you going to
die?" It was as if I were a little child again, in junior Sunday
School, I knew he already knew everything about me; but, I wanted to answer
him the best I could. So, I said, "Yes, everyone I've ever known
has died" He continued questioning me, "Do you know anyone who
hasn't died?" I thought, "Yes, your disciple John" He
asked again, "Do you know anyone else?". Again I thought, "The
three Nephites". He asked again, "Anyone else?". Again I
replied, "Moses and Elijah?" He asked again, "Anyone
else?". Now I was really thinking; then I remembered and replied,
"All of the people in the City of Enoch!" Then Jesus told me
to get my dad's New Testament and read in the Book of John where He came to
Lazarus' tomb. I went and got it and started reading. When Jesus came to
Lazarus' tomb, Martha came out to meet him and said to Him, "Lord, if
thou hadst been here, my brother had not died." Jesus said,
"Thy brother shall rise again." Martha continued, "I know
that he shall rise again in the resurrection at the last day."
"Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that
believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live:" And then
I read the next sentence, "And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall
never die. Believest thou this?" When I read that line, I
exclaimed, "Where did that come from; I've never seen that passage
before" Then, Jesus asked me, "Jon, do you believe in
me?" I quickly answered, "Yes, I am going to believe in
you" It was another one of those "turn arounds" of 180
degrees; as I looked up from the text, I could see Jesus and He was laughing
at my sudden "turning" from an absolute belief in Death to an
equally absolute belief in Life.
Some years later, the former friend who betrayed me, was reinstated in the
church. I was sitting in a Sunday School class just after I had heard
the news. I was angry with our Father in Heaven and was complaining to
Him, "This man lied to be reinstated in the church; he conforms to the
conformity of the church just to get back in; while I stand up for the truth
and am still getting beaten and spit on by the church, my wife, my family,
neighbors, and former friends. Why?" Our Father in Heaven answered,
saying, "But, you found me didn't you?" I agreed; but I was
still not mollified. Then, our Father in Heaven showed to me something like a
waking dream right in the second row of the Sunday School class. I saw a
large beautiful fountain of crystal clear water flowing freely from the
earth. The water was extremely clean and pure--I could see clear to the
bottom of the wide river that was formed. I was very thirsty; and I
approached the water and drank. I was immediately filled with the love
of God; and I knew these were the Waters of Life--that are free and without
cost. I was filled with happiness and love. I looked to where the
waters were flowing and saw a large herd of cattle in the river; and as
quickly as I looked, I was with them. There were two herds--a herd of
bulls was upstream from the rest of the herd which consisted of bulls, cows,
heifers, and calves. I was with the cattle downstream from the bulls;
and I was thirsty again. But, when I looked down at the water that was
swirling around my legs; I could see only small patches of clean and pure
water. I looked upstream and saw that the herd of bulls was churning up
sand and silt--they were doing what cattle do when they stand in the middle of
a stream--depositing wastes into the water. The cattle downstream were moving
back and forth--looking for clean patches of water. I remembered the
fountain of Living Water and headed for the stream bank. As I climbed
out of the stream, the other cattle called to me, "Come back. Where
are you going?" I replied, "I am going up to the Source--the
water is clean and pure there" Then, the herd of bulls saw me and
bellowed, "Get back in the herd; the water must pass through us; you must
only drink the water that passes through us; you will be deceived and
lost" I continued back up to the Source and drank the refreshing
water again. I was careful not to pollute the water or stir up any
silt. I looked at the herd of bulls again--they were all facing
downstream--away from the source. All they had to do was turn and drink
pure water; but they didn't seem to notice the Source. I called out,
"Come up to the Source where the water is clean" But, no one
would listen or respond.
Jesus repeatedly asks me to let my light shine and to help me understand
the idea of placing my light on a table and lighting the whole house, He told
me a parable. It was a familiar story; but, with a new twist. This
is how Jesus told me the Parable of the Lost Coin: "A woman found a
precious coin--which she cherished. She rejoiced in the coin and showed
it to all of her family and friends. Then, she lost it. She could
not find it. She looked everywhere to no avail. Finally, she set
her mind to the task; and began to clean out her house. She even moved
the furniture outside; to better sweep. She swept and cleaned; all
the while looking for the coin. She looked in every nook and crevice; she just
knew she could find the coin. Then, one day, after much labor on her part; she
found the precious coin. Again, as at the first, she rejoiced exceedingly; and
with great happiness she called her family, neighbors and friends around her
to see the coin and share her joy." Then, Jesus said to me,
"Jon, do you understand the meaning of the parable?" I said to
him, "Tell me". He explained to me that I was the woman; and
that when I was seven years old, I found the Kingdom of Heaven within; but,
that I lost it and became unbelieving. Yet, I knew the value of the
coin; and searched and cleaned my own house until I found the coin
again. Then, I rejoiced in that which I had; then lost; then found
again. "The parable is especially for you Jon" He said,
"Do you like it?" "Very, very much," I said,
"Thank you."
Certainly, I have encountered ridicule and scorn for relating my
experiences with Jesus and the Father. However, I have also received the
peace that They give to me. I am going to close by telling you the story of
the prodigal son as related to me by Jesus. I love the story and in it the
Savior describes my own condition perfectly.
Jesus began the story by including me in the scenes that He caused to pass
through my remembrance. I was the prodigal son. I saw myself
dissatisfied with my circumstance at home. I wanted my inheritance to
enable me to leave home and seek my own fortune. My Father willingly
gave me my inheritance and I left. I lost it all and was reduced to
starvation and gleaning what the pigs refused for my sustenance. In my
dire straits, Jesus showed to me my musings-thoughts of a warm home and
plentiful food and clothing. I remembered that the servants in my
Father's house had it better than I. I quickly determined that I would
return home and beg to be one of my Father's servants. And being
extremely hungry-on the very edge of death-I made my way towards home.
My Father had been watching for me all this time. He never ceased to
watch and hope that I would return. Jesus showed to me His great joy
when He saw me in the distance walking towards home. As soon as He saw
me, He ran across the fields and with great tears in His eyes He hugged me and
kissed me.
Retelling this experience is good for me; and it is a good way to
end. The only difficulties you will encounter in meeting God will be
invented by you. And when you believe you can, nothing doubting, They will
come to you and visit you, and you will realize that it is as easy as falling
off a log.
Jon
Jon Hess on 'Believe as a Child'
