Experience Discovering Zephaniah 3:18,19

Adapted [3/1/98] from an unsent portion of a letter to my Bishop 2/9/96

SEE:  Zephaniah 3 chiasm and the related text in Ezekiel 22 Elements B/B'

The Discovery Experience

I would like to relate an experience I had which manifest to me the Lord's approval of my desires, His awareness of my unfavorable situation, and His promise that things will be made right.

This took place more than a year ago during the solemn assembly in which President Hunter was sustained. I was new to the Tucson area, having moved down there not knowing a soul. My first month there coincided with the post-Summer term transition at the University of Arizona, where I would be working and attending school. Very few students were around, taking a break before school started.

It was the most lonely and difficult of my entire life thus far. My soul was empty to begin with, for I was down there not because I wanted to be, but because I had a sincere desire to heed the counsel of my Bishop (believing that this is what the Lord expected of me at the time), who, after seeing the work I had done recently for a third edition of The Vision of All:  Our Past, Present and Future as Foretold in Book of Mormon History, featuring some amazing new discoveries of chiasms and parallels to support the thesis, basically said I was wasting my time and that I should "get a life." Get a job, get married.

[{3/1/98} In retrospect, I believe very strongly that the reason the Lord expected me to do the best I could for several years to get back into the Church was that he wanted to vividly show me that new wine cannot be put into old bottles that are about to burst. "Just try it, and you will see how incongruous your newfound understandings are with the way things have become in the Mormon Church."]

Not only did I not know anyone, but the attempt to get to know people was severely hampered by my excommunicated status. By the time General Conference rolled around a couple of months later, I had managed to make a few friendly acquaintances in my ward.

So picture in your mind what I went through, now sitting in the front row of the Stake Center by a window where I could see to take notes of the various talks given by the LDS General Authorities. Because a new prophet was then being put in, you can imagine how I felt as they began going through the various quorums to stand and sustain President Hunter. Not only did I desire at the time to raise my hand to sustain President Hunter (believing that this was the man God purposed to be in that position), but I was also pained by the awareness that some of my new acquaintances sitting at various places behind me would notice my not standing and raising my hand. In the Mormon community, you might as well announce that you have leprosy at that point. Having had this sort painful experience many times, I shrugged it off and proceeded to enjoy conference, taking several pages of notes.

The next day was when the miracle occurred. I had invited a Catholic friend to join me for conference. Ellen Petraitis and I had met a short time before. I had given her a Book of Mormon and introduced her to the story of the restoration. The morning of Conference, when I phoned her to wake her up in time, I asked her what her favorite scripture was. She would have to think about it. As we were sitting, listening to the Tabernacle Choir broadcast before the first session, she leaned over and said, "Zephaniah." Zephaniah? Then it registered that she was making reference to her favorite scripture, but the puzzlement did not leave as I thought, You're Catholic, and most Mormons don't even know there is such a book in the Bible. She then explained that it was the name she was given as a child in some Catholic ceremony. Oh!, I thought. Curious, I proceeded to read the three chapters in that book. Not looking for anything personally applicable, for I did not expect it, it took me several days to realize the profoundly specific significance of several verses, 3:18,19 being the most incredible.

Before I quote this, reflect with me on the impossibility of this "coincidence" being contrived. First of all, Ellen had no idea of my unfavorable membership standing. In fact, she had supposed me to hold some sort of dominant position because of the way I carried myself favorably and knowledgeably regarding the Church in our conversations. She had been surprised to discover that I had no significant calling in the Church; but that was as far as the conversation went. Second, the words "solemn assembly" probably held no significance to her, even though that term comes up in Zephaniah, let alone know that this event in which we were participating was the second day of a solemn assembly. She had no idea how important her pointing me to Zephaniah on this of all days would be.

Here is what I read in Zephaniah 3:18,19 (which verses had never previously registered with me):

"I will gather them that are sorrowful for the solemn assembly, who are of thee, to whom the reproach of it was a burden. Behold, at that time I will undo all that afflict thee: and I will save her that halteth, and gather her that was driven out; and I will get them praise and fame in every land where they have been put to shame."

There could not be a more fitting verse in all of the standard works to describe my feelings on that important day C at least the part about "sorrowful," "reproach," "burden," and "afflict." The latter part, the promise, was something my aching heart rejoiced to read, for I had been feeling pretty down, struggling with self doubts and wonder, for had not men whom I revered told me repeatedly that I was an apostate? And why was the Lord impressing on me so strongly to seek for reconciliation with these men?

The more I looked at this, the more I believed that the Lord was behind handing this incredible verse to me on that day. You must admit that the verse itself, set in a last days context, fits this situation perfectly. The fact that it was given to me when and where it was will forever be a treasure for me. It has been an anchor through many difficult times.

[3/1/98] A couple of weeks later I would discover the chiasm in this chapter and see that these verses of consolation line up with the verses that describe the state of apostasy into which the LDS people have drifted, including "the priest, the prophet." That was precisely why I had been excommunicated in the first place: for bolding proclaiming that such was the case. Now I had a scripture that not only repeated this witness of the state of corruption in which we find ourselves as an institution, but which spoke comfort to all those, including me, who have been so wrongfully treated for attempting to become awakened and awaken others and get right with the Lord.

Sterling D. Allan; Fountain Green, Utah; February 9, 1996

See also